Standing Still

Do you ever feel like you are just standing still?  Just in a place where you are doing, you are moving, things are happening... but you are still standing still... stuck?  I'm feeling a little stuck right now.  I guess grief and loss does that... it just sticks around for a bit.  And when you're stuck, you're forced to be patient.  I hate being patient.  But when you are stuck there is nothing else to be.  I've used up all my energy trying to be unstuck, nothing happened.  So I am standing still.  Waiting.  Somewhat patiently.  For things not to be different, but, I guess, to feel different.  

It's crazy how fast the days pass by.  It's been over a month since I've posted.  Mainly because nothing has really changed at our house.  We have taken the past few months to start getting our feet back under us.  Really once we were able to cook in the kitchen, renovations have taken a backseat to life planning surviving.  That sounds so harsh, but it feels like it a little bit.  I had a feeling it would happen.  I knew when we settled into the house a bit, reality would settle in a bit too.  And reality isn't really how I thought it would be just 6 months ago.

So... since remodeling is standing still, this is how we have spent our last few months... (The tone of this all sounds so down... sorry about that!)  There has definitely been a lot of moving, working, visiting, praying, envisioning, playing...  and standing still.  Each time I post something I am forced to refocus, re-examine, relive, rethink... It's a good thing.  Looking at these pictures reminds me that although I feel like I am standing still, I get to stand still with some pretty amazing friends and family.  I sure do love them!  Look at how cute these faces are?!?! How can you not? :)

Below:  Spring Soccer Season has started again.  And Kai is officially on a team! :) Chris is coaching and both boys are really loving it!

Below:  Jackson is super into holidays and celebrating and Valentine's Day was no exception.  We had fun making Valentine flowers (a last minute project pulled from the depths of my craft bins when I realized he needed 18 Vday cards in 2 days!)

Below:  We hiked with friends

Below: At the end of February our close and great friends (who we miss) Sarah & Stephen came to visit with their kids (Brody & Sophie) (who we miss). They moved to Kansas 2 years ago and we MISS THEM SO MUCH!

Above:  Neighborhood scavenger hunt (thanks for the great idea Sarah!)

Above:  Trip to the zoo

Below:  Riding the neighbor's horse

Below:  While our friends were staying with us we had our first, "oh crap our toilets are backing up- we live with a septic tank- what do we do" moment.  Well, lesson learned.  After going through three different plumbers... a bunch of trips to the library and circle k to go potty... and some digging.  We replaced multiple sections of pipe that had a tree root growing through it.  Major MAJOR BUMMER!  The silver lining?  Our neighbor has a backhoe and plumbing experience.  Next time we are calling him first!!!

 Below:  Enjoying our irrigation by doing some boogie & skim boarding

Below:  Staging LOTS of houses.  SO FUN!

Above:  My little helper

Below:  And when I get home these monkeys are always ready to greet me!  Pirate-Tarzan & pant-less Kai

Below:  Jackson learned to ride without training wheels!

Below:  The ducks enjoy our lake too!

Below:  Kai has shown a lot of interest climbing fences lately...

Below:  Chris used some leftover sod to recover the areas of the yard that I drive over every time I try to back down the driveway!

So, that's what we have been up to these last few months.  I suppose life has slowed down a little bit... maybe that is why it feels so still?  I am SUPER HOPEFUL that we will have some finished projects around the house soon, and if/when we do I will post pictures ;)  But don't hold your breath!  Hope everyone has had a few good months!  

Vision, Prayer & Lists

Our family is totally and completely in the rebuilding-refocusing-reworking-redefining-remodeling-researching-relaunching process.  Almost any word you could put "re" in front of can probably be used to describe what we are doing.

Vision-
Recently I have been personally challenged to know and develop my God's vision for my life.  What is my personal kingdom vision?  Where do I even start?  Part of me want wanted to completely shy away from these questions.  Am I really in the place to be thinking about these things?  Do I have the time?  Do I have the emotional energy?  Am I a little scared of what this vision might actually be- might push me to do?  Over the last few months I've already been pushed-pulled-kicked out of what I was comfortable doing-being-thinking.  Where I was content-comfortable.  Where what I had hoped for-prayed for-dreamed for was actually happening.  Where there was security-a routine-history-a past.  So the last thing I feel I should be doing or thinking about is a plan... a vision.  Gosh, finding my vision sounds exhausting, overwhelming, and even a little scary.  But, it also sounds exciting... scary exciting.  What better time to sit and listen, to be patient and seek, to be open to what God wants for my life?!  Now is a good time... so much has been stripped away, so many plans-relationships-false senses of security... so why not?! :)  (BTW. as I sit here and type this at my dining room table a few of the neighbors chickens just ran across our yard!  How neat is that?!?)

Where to start?  Well, luckily that challenge didn't come without adequate reading material

I'm probably going to need to read it a couple of times for it to sink in.  As I read through this book, and thought through some of the many questions, I've started to realize right now I don't really know at all what I think my vision is.  I don't have a great passion for one cause-one thing.  I can be passionate about a lot of things and because my strongest spiritual gift is Administrative (UGH!- more on that later) I tend to get going, create and lead something, and sell others on that cause, but because it isn't my actual vision the excitement and passion starts to fade.  It sounds a little cliche to say this, (and even a little wrong) but if I am forced to find a "bright side", or a "silver-lining" for these last few months it is that I have had time.  Time to be quiet (after the anger).  Time to be still (after the pain).  Time to pray (ALL the time).  I just need to be still, quiet, and pray.  So outside my natural tendency.  Usually when things "go south", fall to crap, explode in my face, I don't take it as the Lord saying, "maybe you should go a different way" or "maybe this isn't what I want for you right now".  Generally I have an "eye of the tiger" moment and fight hard.  I kick, scream and fight, I do whatever I can physically and mentally to make whatever just didn't happen happen.  I seldom sit quietly.  And have probably paid the price for it too.  So now I pray and sit and wait.

Prayer-
I just started a new session of bible study at our church.  For the next six weeks I will be going through the book and workbook, "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian.  LOVING IT.  Praying for your husband, huh, what a concept.  I mean I've done it for sure.  Everyday.  But praying specifically for different areas of his life.  I can't even begin to explain how great it is.  And this is praying for the person who will share my vision.  Who will be closest walking with me in whatever God has called for our lives.  This is good.  Very very good.  I am only on chapter 8 but I highly recommend this book.  I love its honesty and I love how practical it is.  I love the verses it gives me to pray over each area.  This is good.  Chris has been such a rock these past few months.  I know it is because so many of you have been praying for him and us.  Thank you.

Lists-
Oh the lists.  There are many and they are long.  LLLLOOOONNNGGG.  Ugh.  Maybe that is why I don't have a ton of new remodel pictures to share with you.  We've been so busy making lists (and visioneering, and praying).  I need things to be organized and clean before I can concentrate on something new.  This means my house, my kids, my mind (unfortunately not so much my car).  Because of this I felt it would be super practical to make organized lists of each area in our life so that we can have action items and goals in place.  This will clear away the cloudiness of everything and these are things that have to be done... they aren't introducing new things that would get in the way of me being still and quiet.  The book "Visioneering" gave us a good starting point for our vision and making our lists.  To begin to clarify our vision and future the book asked us to describe our preferred future for:
Career
Finances
Spouse
Children
Ministry
Other
Doing this helped us clear the clutter.  It gave us an opportunity to really sit down and put words/purposes/goals... a vision to each of these areas in our life.  A funny thing happened.  By sitting down and talking about these things together we were able to easily see how much of the same page we were on.  We could easily see what was of great importance to us and what was of little.  We identified areas that were working towards our ideal and areas that weren't.  We saw areas that needed our action for something to happen and areas that we needed to be patient in.  It gave me specific things to pray for areas in our life that I didn't know how to pray for.  And then we made lists!

Below: This is just for the house...and each of those are two-sided!

  

Some of those lists will help in getting more renovation pictures up here.  I PROMISE! :)  I'm not sure what our vision will end up being.  Where-What-Who God will call us to.  It's scary and it's exciting.  But really, why should I postpone? Why should I wait?  Why wouldn't I want to be doing anything other than what God wants me to be doing right now?

What vision do you think God has laid on your heart for your life?  Does your family have a mission statement?  A family goal?  Do you have an ideal or preferred future for all the areas in your life?  How do they line up with your kingdom vision?

With that being said I am off to read, study, pray... and maybe paint something!

Have a great week!

A Week with the New Kitchen

It's been a week since our kitchen was "completed".  Beyond excited to have a stove/oven, a sink, a fridge (not in the garage)!  Since mid-October we have been "cooking" out of the basement microwave.  Tried our best to be "healthy" by purchasing prepared meals, not just frozen.  I know we could have been creative and done better, but with all the sawdust and paint around, Fresh and Easy meals were as good as it was going to get.  Needless to say after not cooking for 2.5 months I am SO EXCITED to cook and clean in my kitchen.  Now, I'm not a cook.  Most of my meals generally come in one dish and are super heavy with cheese.  :/  Not always... but usually.  So in an attempt to eat lighter and healthier I started my week by finding some yummy recipes and went shopping.  Since we have slowed down a little on the renovations I thought I would share some links to the recipes we ate this week.

First I visited my friend Katelyn's blog, Domestic Charm.  Without a doubt any recipe she posts on there will be healthy, yummy and easy.

Salmon with Cucumber & Pineapple Salsa

SOOOO YUMMY!!!! SOOOO EASY!!!! 

HERE is a link to Salmon with Cucumber and Pineapple Salsa  via Domestic Charm

Black Bean & Goat Cheese Quesadilla

Made this for lunch a couple different days.  The boys and Chris LOVED it.

HERE is a link to Black Bean and Goat Cheese Quesadilla via Domestic Charm

Skinny Chicken Enchilada

OH MY GOSH!  I found this recipe on my friend Wesley's Pinterest.  I was a little skeptical because it is a "skinny" recipe.  I hate it when something becomes "skinny" and then looses all of its flavor.  No worries with these enchiladas.  They were AMAZING and will probably be on the menu once a week (per Chris's request)  SO SO GOOD.  A must try!

HERE is a link to Skinny Chicken Enchiladas via Pinterest

Parmesan Crusted Tilapia

This was a super easy recipe... however there wasn't a ton of flavor.  I would make this again (because it was so easy) but throw in a few more ingredients to give it some kick.

HERE is a link to Parmesan Crusted Tilapia via Pinterest

Chunky Southwest Quinoa Salad

Found this one on my friend Amy's Pinterest (Gotta love Pinterest)  LOVE LOVE LOVE this recipe.  Ate it for dinner and then lunch the next day.  Then later in the week I created my own BLT Quinoa Salad.  Definitely will be making it once a week in a large batch so that I can easily eat it for lunch.

HERE is a link to Chunky Southwest Quinoa Salad via Pinterest

So here are the yummy recipes I got to try out this week.  Sorry for not having any "house-progress" pictures but we have been taking some much needed time to spend with the boys, unpack, cook, clean... and just "be" for a bit.  We did get the kitchen window in.  As soon a I get a picture I will put it up!  Here are a few quick photos of the week.

Below:  Kai has been playing basketball all the time.  Love his determination.

Below:  This is what a tired pirate looks like after a long bike ride and no nap.

Below:  A visit to the doctor as Jackson has an ear infection :(

Notice their lovely "I dressed myself" outfits!

Below:  A walk to the Riparian Preserve

Below:  A much needed trip to the zoo!

Hope you have a great week!