Standing Still

Do you ever feel like you are just standing still?  Just in a place where you are doing, you are moving, things are happening... but you are still standing still... stuck?  I'm feeling a little stuck right now.  I guess grief and loss does that... it just sticks around for a bit.  And when you're stuck, you're forced to be patient.  I hate being patient.  But when you are stuck there is nothing else to be.  I've used up all my energy trying to be unstuck, nothing happened.  So I am standing still.  Waiting.  Somewhat patiently.  For things not to be different, but, I guess, to feel different.  

It's crazy how fast the days pass by.  It's been over a month since I've posted.  Mainly because nothing has really changed at our house.  We have taken the past few months to start getting our feet back under us.  Really once we were able to cook in the kitchen, renovations have taken a backseat to life planning surviving.  That sounds so harsh, but it feels like it a little bit.  I had a feeling it would happen.  I knew when we settled into the house a bit, reality would settle in a bit too.  And reality isn't really how I thought it would be just 6 months ago.

So... since remodeling is standing still, this is how we have spent our last few months... (The tone of this all sounds so down... sorry about that!)  There has definitely been a lot of moving, working, visiting, praying, envisioning, playing...  and standing still.  Each time I post something I am forced to refocus, re-examine, relive, rethink... It's a good thing.  Looking at these pictures reminds me that although I feel like I am standing still, I get to stand still with some pretty amazing friends and family.  I sure do love them!  Look at how cute these faces are?!?! How can you not? :)

Below:  Spring Soccer Season has started again.  And Kai is officially on a team! :) Chris is coaching and both boys are really loving it!

Below:  Jackson is super into holidays and celebrating and Valentine's Day was no exception.  We had fun making Valentine flowers (a last minute project pulled from the depths of my craft bins when I realized he needed 18 Vday cards in 2 days!)

Below:  We hiked with friends

Below: At the end of February our close and great friends (who we miss) Sarah & Stephen came to visit with their kids (Brody & Sophie) (who we miss). They moved to Kansas 2 years ago and we MISS THEM SO MUCH!

Above:  Neighborhood scavenger hunt (thanks for the great idea Sarah!)

Above:  Trip to the zoo

Below:  Riding the neighbor's horse

Below:  While our friends were staying with us we had our first, "oh crap our toilets are backing up- we live with a septic tank- what do we do" moment.  Well, lesson learned.  After going through three different plumbers... a bunch of trips to the library and circle k to go potty... and some digging.  We replaced multiple sections of pipe that had a tree root growing through it.  Major MAJOR BUMMER!  The silver lining?  Our neighbor has a backhoe and plumbing experience.  Next time we are calling him first!!!

 Below:  Enjoying our irrigation by doing some boogie & skim boarding

Below:  Staging LOTS of houses.  SO FUN!

Above:  My little helper

Below:  And when I get home these monkeys are always ready to greet me!  Pirate-Tarzan & pant-less Kai

Below:  Jackson learned to ride without training wheels!

Below:  The ducks enjoy our lake too!

Below:  Kai has shown a lot of interest climbing fences lately...

Below:  Chris used some leftover sod to recover the areas of the yard that I drive over every time I try to back down the driveway!

So, that's what we have been up to these last few months.  I suppose life has slowed down a little bit... maybe that is why it feels so still?  I am SUPER HOPEFUL that we will have some finished projects around the house soon, and if/when we do I will post pictures ;)  But don't hold your breath!  Hope everyone has had a few good months!