Vision, Prayer & Lists

Our family is totally and completely in the rebuilding-refocusing-reworking-redefining-remodeling-researching-relaunching process.  Almost any word you could put "re" in front of can probably be used to describe what we are doing.

Vision-
Recently I have been personally challenged to know and develop my God's vision for my life.  What is my personal kingdom vision?  Where do I even start?  Part of me want wanted to completely shy away from these questions.  Am I really in the place to be thinking about these things?  Do I have the time?  Do I have the emotional energy?  Am I a little scared of what this vision might actually be- might push me to do?  Over the last few months I've already been pushed-pulled-kicked out of what I was comfortable doing-being-thinking.  Where I was content-comfortable.  Where what I had hoped for-prayed for-dreamed for was actually happening.  Where there was security-a routine-history-a past.  So the last thing I feel I should be doing or thinking about is a plan... a vision.  Gosh, finding my vision sounds exhausting, overwhelming, and even a little scary.  But, it also sounds exciting... scary exciting.  What better time to sit and listen, to be patient and seek, to be open to what God wants for my life?!  Now is a good time... so much has been stripped away, so many plans-relationships-false senses of security... so why not?! :)  (BTW. as I sit here and type this at my dining room table a few of the neighbors chickens just ran across our yard!  How neat is that?!?)

Where to start?  Well, luckily that challenge didn't come without adequate reading material

I'm probably going to need to read it a couple of times for it to sink in.  As I read through this book, and thought through some of the many questions, I've started to realize right now I don't really know at all what I think my vision is.  I don't have a great passion for one cause-one thing.  I can be passionate about a lot of things and because my strongest spiritual gift is Administrative (UGH!- more on that later) I tend to get going, create and lead something, and sell others on that cause, but because it isn't my actual vision the excitement and passion starts to fade.  It sounds a little cliche to say this, (and even a little wrong) but if I am forced to find a "bright side", or a "silver-lining" for these last few months it is that I have had time.  Time to be quiet (after the anger).  Time to be still (after the pain).  Time to pray (ALL the time).  I just need to be still, quiet, and pray.  So outside my natural tendency.  Usually when things "go south", fall to crap, explode in my face, I don't take it as the Lord saying, "maybe you should go a different way" or "maybe this isn't what I want for you right now".  Generally I have an "eye of the tiger" moment and fight hard.  I kick, scream and fight, I do whatever I can physically and mentally to make whatever just didn't happen happen.  I seldom sit quietly.  And have probably paid the price for it too.  So now I pray and sit and wait.

Prayer-
I just started a new session of bible study at our church.  For the next six weeks I will be going through the book and workbook, "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian.  LOVING IT.  Praying for your husband, huh, what a concept.  I mean I've done it for sure.  Everyday.  But praying specifically for different areas of his life.  I can't even begin to explain how great it is.  And this is praying for the person who will share my vision.  Who will be closest walking with me in whatever God has called for our lives.  This is good.  Very very good.  I am only on chapter 8 but I highly recommend this book.  I love its honesty and I love how practical it is.  I love the verses it gives me to pray over each area.  This is good.  Chris has been such a rock these past few months.  I know it is because so many of you have been praying for him and us.  Thank you.

Lists-
Oh the lists.  There are many and they are long.  LLLLOOOONNNGGG.  Ugh.  Maybe that is why I don't have a ton of new remodel pictures to share with you.  We've been so busy making lists (and visioneering, and praying).  I need things to be organized and clean before I can concentrate on something new.  This means my house, my kids, my mind (unfortunately not so much my car).  Because of this I felt it would be super practical to make organized lists of each area in our life so that we can have action items and goals in place.  This will clear away the cloudiness of everything and these are things that have to be done... they aren't introducing new things that would get in the way of me being still and quiet.  The book "Visioneering" gave us a good starting point for our vision and making our lists.  To begin to clarify our vision and future the book asked us to describe our preferred future for:
Career
Finances
Spouse
Children
Ministry
Other
Doing this helped us clear the clutter.  It gave us an opportunity to really sit down and put words/purposes/goals... a vision to each of these areas in our life.  A funny thing happened.  By sitting down and talking about these things together we were able to easily see how much of the same page we were on.  We could easily see what was of great importance to us and what was of little.  We identified areas that were working towards our ideal and areas that weren't.  We saw areas that needed our action for something to happen and areas that we needed to be patient in.  It gave me specific things to pray for areas in our life that I didn't know how to pray for.  And then we made lists!

Below: This is just for the house...and each of those are two-sided!

  

Some of those lists will help in getting more renovation pictures up here.  I PROMISE! :)  I'm not sure what our vision will end up being.  Where-What-Who God will call us to.  It's scary and it's exciting.  But really, why should I postpone? Why should I wait?  Why wouldn't I want to be doing anything other than what God wants me to be doing right now?

What vision do you think God has laid on your heart for your life?  Does your family have a mission statement?  A family goal?  Do you have an ideal or preferred future for all the areas in your life?  How do they line up with your kingdom vision?

With that being said I am off to read, study, pray... and maybe paint something!

Have a great week!