Party, Party, Party - Fundraiser Update!

This past week has been a blur of decorating, cooking, setting up, tearing down, celebrating, baby shower-fundraising-birthday madness!  And I've loved every minute of it... well, almost every minute! ;)

To start I wanted to share some pictures of last week's Adoption Fundraiser.  We had an amazing night eating chili, watching ELF, and taking trolley rides with so many wonderfully generous friends.  Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!  To all who came, gave, and prayed for this event.  With your donations we have raised over $3000 so far towards bringing home our baby girl.  We feel overwhelmed and beyond blessed by your generosity.  Thank you!

Here are some fun pics from that night!

  

 

 

We really did have so much fun spending that time with you all.  We got to speak a lot about adoption, our journey so far and help educate others who are starting to think about growing their family through adoption.  If you missed this night do not worry!  We will be hosting other fun fundraising events over the next few months.  I will be posting soon about some other awesome opportunities to give.  Also, if you want to donate via Pay Pal just click this link HERE!  Again, THANK YOU for your amazing generosity.

Tomorrow I will share another fun event I had the honor of helping with... here's a sneak peek!

Lundberg Family Adoption Fundraiser- Outdoor Movie Night!

Friends and Family-

As many of you know for the past few years our family has felt God's calling to grow through adoption.  It has been a long and emotional journey.  Recently we have expanded our efforts in both hiring an adoption consultant and becoming certified to adopt through the state's foster care system.  We still don't know where God will bring our daughter from but we are anxiously waiting.  Because we have decided to pursue different routes of adoption we have recently felt an urgency to start fundraising.  We know that God will provide and are prayerfully asking you to join us on our journey.  

We hope you can join us for an Outdoor Movie and Dinner night at our house (kids included!!!).  It will be a fun night of food, friends, and treats.  Please RSVP to Alexislundberg@gmail.com by Wednesday November 6th..  The night starts at 5:30 and the movie will start right after dark. Feel free to invite your neighbors or friends!  If you are unable to attend but still feel called to give you can do so at the link below.  We can't even begin to tell you how much we have appreciated your support, encouragement and prayers over the last 3 years.  We are excited and hopeful that our daughter will be home soon.

To give please click go to the link below:

tinyurl.com/lundbergadoptionfund

You can read more about our adoption journey at www.designbylexi.blogspot.com

Thank you!

Chris, Alexis, Jackson & Malakai Lundberg

Driving Through the Storm

This week is a hard week.  For many reasons.  But the greatest is that on Tuesday our beautiful little girl would have been 1.  We decided to spend the day as a family, doing things we thought "our sister" (as the boys say) would like to do.  Our plan was to keep the boys out of school and drive a few hours north to the Out of Africa Animal Park.  Both the boys, but especially Jackson are really REALLY into big wild cats right now.  It was nice to have a plan for the day.  A plan to enjoy our kids, to think about our baby girl and just to get out of town.

Well, wouldn't you know it, the day didn't go as planned.  (I don't know why I even try and plan things anymore!)  The morning started great.  Starbucks drive-thru and two very excited boys.  We knew that the weather might be a bit rainy up north so we packed extra clothes and made sure to layer (we are Seattle natives so we know how to visit zoos in the rain).  As we were driving up the weather went from hot and sunny to rainy... really REALLY rainy FAST!  All the way up and then down the mountain there was little to no visibility.  No worries, we were prepared, and as we were coming down the mountain and approaching the park it was sunny and nice again.  Perfect.  And then... we arrived.  And the gates were closed.  So we waited.  And we called.  And then we were told, "the park is closed today due to weather".  And then we cried.  When I say "we" I wish I could say it was just the boys that cried- but nope, I cried too.  Big sobbing tears.  That day hit me all at once.  So, we turned around and drove the two hours back home.

As soon as we started back the rain came again.  Blinding, hard, pounding rain.  As I was driving (yes I was driving through the tears.  Chris is still recovering from knee surgery and although his movement is good, driving that far just isn't comfortable.  Plus, if I had to concentrate on driving I wouldn't be sitting in the passenger seat crying the whole way home.)  and trying to hold it together my mind was racing.  Grief hit me, disappointment, frustration, and anger.  I felt like saying, "seriously God?  Of all things, the park just couldn't have been open TODAY?!?!?"  As I was driving, and thinking, and arguing with God it struck me how fitting the storm we were driving through was. (here comes a metaphor for the day and for the last year- try and follow me here) We started the day bright and sunny, full of hope for a fun day with the kids.  We knew it might get stormy but we were prepared- extra clothes, extra shoes, hats, and a fully mapped out scheduled day.  Then the storm hit.  And it hit hard.  It slowed us up and made it hard to move as fast as we wanted to go.  But then it cleared-just a bit.  We still had a plan.  But the park was closed.  So we cried and we left.  And then, the storm hit again. And this time it hit hard and hurt worse.  It became harder to see what was in front of us.  We had to just keep going.  When the storm started to let up and we could start to make sense out of the road in front of us we suddenly became aware a terrible screeching noise- the windshield wipers.  Even though we were out of the storm there was still this constant irritating reminder of the pain from the storm we just went through.  If we turned the wipers off and just tried to ignore the rain we would get lost in it again, unable to see.  So, we had to endure the nagging-screeching-reminding wipers and learn to drive in the drizzle.

Ok Ok I know, it might be just me that can see and feel the connection between a stormy drive/ruined plan and the year we had.  But it feels pretty fitting.  (Lucky for you I left out the part about the bully semi-truck) The way it felt driving in the blinding rain, looking and searching for the road in front of me.  Listening to the awful screechy windshield wipers as a reminder of what we just drove through.  That is exactly where I feel we are right now.  Not in the downpour, but still in the drizzle.   Seeing God's rainbow of hope, and just waiting for dry land.

The boys did pretty well in the car for four hours straight and seemed to be happy with our Plan B.  We still managed to see some wild animals at Rainforest Cafe (over priced and not yummy- but they had animals!) and at the Aquarium.

We let Jack and Kai pick out birthday outfits in honor of their sister.  We will be donating them to YoungLives in hopes that another little one-year old girl can be blessed by them.  The boys took a lot of pride in picking out the gifts and felt like Embrie Grace would really like her presents.

Tuesday evening we continued to celebrate as a family with our close family friends.  We are so blessed by this family and lost it all together as their oldest daughter prayed that Embrie is happy in heaven and that our new sister would come soon.  The kids decorated a cake and sang.  It was truly a special night.  Another couple of close friends came over after the kids went to bed and just sat with us, somehow knowing we wouldn't want to be alone.

It's been a hard week, but we continue to look forward.   We miss what we thought this year was going to be like.  We grieve what we thought our family would look in our new home.  We talk about our sweet girl and her beautiful birthmom daily.

Each night the boys pray for our "other sister" or our "new sister" to come soon.  We have recently taken steps in hopes to make that happen.  For the last 8 weeks Chris and I have been attending the PS-MAPP classes through Christian Family Care.  These classes will certify us as Foster and Adopt Parents with the state of Arizona.  Although we have been certified to adopt for over two years now, if we want to be considered by the state for infants in state care we must complete these ten classes.  These classes have been very eye-opening as to the needs of children in our state's foster care system.  The need is so great and I feel so blessed to go to a church that recognizes that need and strives to be a solution.  You can find out more about our church's involvement HERE.

We also have opened another avenue for our adoption by hiring an adoption consultant through Christian Adoption Consultants.  Our consultant was referred to us by a friend who has recently welcomed home two daughters with our consultant's help.  You can visit our consultant's blog HERE.

We are tired and emotionally exhausted.  But we are hopeful that God will fulfill His promises and He knows the desires of our hearts.  We don't know where our adoption journey will take us next but I will be sure to keep you updated!  Again, THANK YOU for your prayers and your love for us as our friends and family.

Because Some of You Were Wondering

Sometimes I wonder how has it already been a year since life came crashing down.  Then at the same time I think, how has it only been a year?  Sometimes the pain feels a lifetime away, and then, in the next moment, it hits me like a ton of bricks.  The littlest things bring me back; cause me to remember.  Oh how I wish I could close my eyes and open them to this time next year- where things will be different... but I remember thinking that last year- and things are very different and not different all at the same time.  As much as so many of this past years moments have hurt I am glad I didn't fast forward these past 11 months.  I have grown- we have grown.  As a spouse, a couple, a family, as parents and as friends.

This time last year we were starting a whole new journey, a new relationship filled with ups, downs, and beautiful moments.  Really what I'd love is to close my eyes and go back to that.  11 months ago when things were magical.  We were matched with our beautiful birth mom who loved us, challenged us, and gave us the most beautiful gift we've ever been given.  It was a time when I felt like I couldn't catch my breath.  Where my heart beat so fast it felt like it would it explode.  It was like we were running with joy.

Then, at 34 weeks, our sweet girl lost her heartbeat. It was devastating.  To hear the pain in our beautiful birth mom's voice.  To feel our hearts ache worse than I've ever imagined possible.  We lost all sense of control, like life was unravelling and I couldn't grab onto anything.  To have to tell our boys.

We didn't understand.  We still don't.  The pain is less now- or maybe just more tolerable.  But as all these dates are approaching I find myself torn between wanting them to be over quickly and wanting to remember how each of them felt.  The first time we spoke to our beautiful birth mom, hearing her tell us she wanted us to be her daughter's parents.  The first time we saw our sweet girl's ultrasound picture- I swear she was smiling!  Feeling her kick with my hands. Skyping with her belly and listening to the boys talk to her.

My heart smiles and breaks at each of these memories.  How I wish it could be different.  I am comforted by Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those that love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Don't get me wrong, it's taken me almost 10 months to find comfort in that and my friends knew well enough not to remind me of it for quite some time.  But, when I stop and pray and listen, even though I don't understand, and I don't like it, and I wouldn't choose it, I find comfort in it.  I know that I don't see everything, I don't know everything.  But I trust and I know that what my God wants for me is better than what I have planned.  So as I wait, and grieve, and try so hard to figure it all out, I still know that He loves me.  I wait for more healing and to feel joy.

These next few months of memories are going to make me cry and make me smile.  As I keep learning and growing I pray that God can be glorified through me.  I pray I can get lost in His Word.  That I can find comfort in His promises.  That I can choose joy.

Thanks so much for your continued prayers and support friends.  Love you all!

Some more on Africa

I started this over a week ago... and it still is a jumbled mess of thoughts.

I have been wanting to write for a while now but 1000 different thoughts have been running through my mind every time I think about it.  In my head I've written a bunch of different posts all going in different directions.  I've stopped myself before I've even start because I know I wont be able to convey all of my thoughts.  So now that the boys are at VBS (all day!)  I am forcing myself just to sit down and do it.  Because I want to.  If it seems like I can't finish a thought it's because I can't, I have too many.  But I will do my best.  :)

We've been back from Africa for almost 3 weeks now.  Part of me can't believe it has already been 3 weeks, but another part of me feel like it's been so much longer.  I miss it.  A LOT.  Way more then I thought I would.  Miss it like a homesick-missing feeling.  Malawi didn't look like home, sound like home, or taste like home... my boys weren't even there.  But there is just a feeling of being home that I miss.  As more time goes by, and as more life happens here, the noise gets louder.  It took me awhile to figure out what this unsettled feeling was that I have felt since returning.  It is the noise of life.  The noise that drowns out and pushes away the closeness to God that was so present while there.   That is what I am homesick for.  That is what felt like home there.

Since being back I have been asked a lot of questions about our time in Africa (and I LOVE that my friends and family want to know!) but every question session always starts with, "What did you do there?"  I don't really know how to answer that because I feel a little guilty about my answer... "nothing".  In many ways, we really did nothing.  We didn't build anything, we didn't plant anything, we didn't check vision, we didn't shear corn, we didn't teach kids, we didn't administer medicine, we didn't do anything.  We didn't go with a team, so we didn't have a schedule, a task, or a plan.  That for me is hard.  I need a plan.  I need a task.  I need to accomplish something.  But we didn't do anything.  What we did can't really be measured.  We sat.  We listened.  We worshipped.  We learned.  We prayed.  We were still.  We rested.  And it was good.

Now that I am home the noise of life has gotten in the way... I haven't sat, learned, or rested.  I've worshipped on Sundays and prayed some.  And that does not feel good.

I feel like I have so many take-aways from Africa that I don't even know how to start sharing them.  So I will just throw out a few.

Somebody Cares is an amazing organization and I feel honored to have spent two weeks watching them work and worship.  From feeding children, to community development, teaching women about safe mothering and empowering them to generate income and study the Bible… Somebody Cares is spreading the love of Jesus throughout Malawi.

In Malawi time doesn’t really matter.  People will wait and wait and wait.  I waited and waited and waited.  It was so out of my comfort zone. Here at home everything is about efficiency.  I like efficiency.  A lot.  In Malawi it kinda felt like you didn’t have a choice to be efficient, which is hard, but nobody was impatient or frustrated by it.  Things just happened in their own time.  Really what I noticed the most is that people mattered more then being efficient or on time.  A conversation, a prayer… that mattered more than what needed to get done.  People mattered.  What would it look like if we lived like that?  Instead of rushing off to the next thing we stayed a little longer and listened a little more.  What would that do for the person you were talking to?  What would that do for you?  Maybe that would change the expectations of having to be everywhere all the time with all the answers.  Hmmm…. Maybe I can work on that.

The sense of community is so strong both in the villages and with the staff of Somebody Cares.  I LOVED that.  Chris and I have known for a long time that we are wired to live in community, to fellowship daily with others, to do life with others.  It felt good to see it happening so well in Malawi.

I know that I want to share more about our trip but I am going to give myself a little more time to process it.  It’s funny I can dream up what I want to share all day long but when it comes time to sitting down and sharing it the words just don’t go together right.  Frustrating.  I am still amazed that I had the opportunity to go with Chris and visit such a beautiful country and meet such loving people.  I crave to go back.  I desperately do not want to let fade everything I felt and learned while there.  What I really hope to do now is share what is happening in Malawi because of Mission’s partnership with Somebody Cares.  It is a beautiful thing.  It’s exciting.  It’s encouraging.  It drives me to want to do so much more!

Here are a few pictures from our trip... my computer has no "disk room" left? At least thats what it tells me when I try to upload my pictures.  Once I get that figured out I will share more :)

Below: Jewelry the women in the community of Mgona made to generate income

Below:  This little boy got up during class, walked over to the door and decided to pee.  Reminded me of Kai :)

Below:  A school teacher in Chikudzulire teaching about 300 children 6 and under.

Below:  Five days a week the children are fed a fortified porridge.

Below:  Lunch time.  The children get a second meal of beans and nsima 3 days a week.

Below:  These girls wear their princess dresses everyday.  How sweet are those faces?!?!

Below:  Joe (a Somebody Cares staff member) and Chris borrowed Mr. Makina's bike to go visit other villages.

Below:  This beautiful woman is a leader in the community of Chikudzulire.  She helps make the porridge, feeds the kids, and generates income for the widows by making and selling soap.

Below:  While we were there the Somebody Cares staff was blessed with a donation of motorcycles.  This is a HUGE blessing as the staff members will be able to travel from village to village so much easier.

Below:  Chikudzulire Community Center.  When Chris visited 5 years ago he helped lay the first bricks for this building.

Below:  This is a group of 40 pastors, elders and church leaders who get together one week each month for pastoral training that the staff of Somebody Cares offers.  This is an amazing group and an awesome week of scripture teaching.  While we were there the teaching was on communion and baptism.  It was intense.  I absolutely loved it.  At the end of the week 10 people from this group were baptized.  (I will share more on that soon).

 Thanks for hanging with me on these sporadic posts.  :)  I would say, I will post more soon... but we know how that goes!